It Could Have Been Me
by FelinesAndPhoenixes
Summary: Severus Snapes thoughts on Lily and James getting married.


Could've Been Me

Category: Harry PotterAuthor: Ariana Pairings: None, really. Mentioned James/LilySummary: Severus Snape's reflections on Lily and James's weddingDisclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or I would be fabulously wealthy. I own my computer, and that's it. The song is the property of Billy Ray Cyrus. I hate country, as a general rule, but this song works.

Severus Snape stared out the window at the dismal rain. According to the Daily Prophet, Lily Evans had married James Potter a few days ago. He sighed and leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the window.

_I hear you just __got married__Had a month long honeymoon__And you were all smiles at the wedding__And you cried when you kissed the groom_

He sighed again as he picked up the paper and looked down at the page it had been flipped open to. Lily and James Potter smiled up at him from a wedding photo. Both of them were laughing and waving merrily at him. Idly, he wondered if Potter was only smiling to spite him, to flaunt that he had won and Severus had lost.

_I got no invitation__I guess the mailman didn't bring it to me__But__ I see the whole thing in slow motion__Every night as I try to sleep_

Every night he lay down to sleep with the pictures from the paper flashing through his head. He had cut a lot of the pictures out of the paper, and fell asleep staring dismally at them, wondering if it would have been different if he'd done something differently. If she would have married him instead.

_My buddy John said you looked real pretty__And__ you acted like you were in love__He said the preacher asked for objections__And he thought about standing up_

Albus Dumbledore reported to Severus that the wedding had been simply beautiful, the food had been to die for, and the Potters seemed happy. He'd laughed, and his eyes had twinkled. He'd spent what seemed like hours describing the wedding to Severus in intricate detail. "You know, I nearly objected," he said. "I nearly told her not to marry him."

_I told John that he must have been crazy__You__ were just about to say "I do"__He just gave me a wink and said all he could think__Is it could've been me with you_

Severus had merely laughed at Dumbledore. "You're crazy," he said softly. "She was getting married, Albus. You couldn't have stopped that. Not for me." But he'd started to think when Dumbledore had gone. What if it had been him? Was it possible.

_It could have been me standing there with you__It could have been me and my dreams coming true__But those dreams move on if you wait too long__It took me 'til now to see that it could have been me_

What if, Severus thought, he had apologized sincerely to Lily after calling her a mudblood? What if he'd chosen better friends like she'd wanted him to? Would she have married him?

_I don't guess I ever told you__That__ I went out and bought you a ring__I even carried it around in my pocket__Waiting to say the right thing_

He'd never even told her that he loved her. He'd always just assumed she knew. He'd bought a ring for her, though, saving every bit of money he happened to find. He'd carried it with him, hoping for a chance to get her alone and the courage propose if an opportunity arose.

_I pulled it out the other day__But__ the diamond had lost its shine__I know how it feels 'cause my eyes grow dim__When I think that you could have been mine_

Last night he'd gone to be and for an hour just lay there staring at the ring held in his hand. When he'd bought it for her, it had been beautiful and had shone like the sun. Now, it had lost most of its shine. Dejectedly he'd wiped away tears that night.

_It could have been me standing there with you__It could have been me and my dreams coming true__But those dreams move on if you wait too long__It took me 'til now to see that it could have been me_

He'd never really thought of just asking her to marry him. He'd thought that even if he did apologize to her, she'd hate him forever and he wouldn't have had a chance.

_Oh I called her just in time to be too late__You know those dreams move on if you wait too long__It took me too long to see (it could have been me)_

Just when he realized that he could have made it happen, it was too late. His opportunity had gone. She'd married the jackass that was James Potter and he was probably never going to see her again.

_It could have__ been me standing there with you__It could have been me and my dreams coming true__But those dreams move on if you wait too long__It took me 'til now to see that it could have been me_

Severus let the paper fall from his hand as his head fell back against the window. "If only," he muttered to himself.

_It could have been me_

It could have been him. As he leaned against the window a single tear fell.

a.g.


End file.
